Day 171: 27 April 2026

 Short Story -- Inner Workings

She felt frazzled and worn out. She was tired not just because she was doing but because mentally she was keeping track of so much.

Some people might say she just needed to let go and not worry, but in her experience if everyone just let go and didn't worry, then nothing ever got done.

What was even weirder for her was that she’d always mentally managed a lot… so sometimes she questioned what was it now that made her feel so explosive every now and again. Mostly she could keep it all under control. But sometimes she’d just blow. And it felt more frequent recently than she wanted.

She was particularly disappointed with herself today, because she’d thought she’d been doing better. She thought maybe she was finally getting back to her old self. Maybe, just maybe, she was evening out… even with all she had to carry.

But then… she lost it. Just for a few seconds. But that was enough to make her feel ashamed.

And her brain was a bit of a dog with a bone. It held on — to everything. And it would replay it. And replay it. And replay it.

So she tried to focus on the good things. The things that got accomplished. The love she felt for her family.

Because she could drown under the weight of all the ways she fell short every day.

Or she could celebrate all of the beautiful moments, both large and small.

And she’d rather celebrate.

So when the shame and uncertainty threatened to overwhelm her, she’d start listing all the beautiful things about the day and life.

And she’d hold on to them.

And let them lift her up.